Uhhhhh, sure StyleSpot. I’m going to wear a vintage turquoise pencil skirt to Thanksgiving dinner, one that makes me suspect that breathing, much like voting or having opinions, was frowned upon in women back in the day. Then I’m going to eat two bites of yams, because they have like, SUPER lots of antioxidants and stuff? And then I’ll starting whining “You guys, I’m sooooo full!” so as to ruin the fun everyone else at the table is having while doing the thing that scares me more than even snakes or crow’s feet- eating. I’ll make sure to start trying to force everyone to go on a walk with me after dinner to burn off all those carbs that I’m seemingly the only one fixated on. Maybe if I’m lucky, a loving older relative will pull me aside and whisper, “Honey, I’m worried about you. You’re looking too thin.” And I’ll say “Really?” in an excited voice and she’ll look first confused, then saddened by that.
Yup, that’s my fashion plan for T-Day 2011. Sweatpants and enjoying yourself are for fat losers. Thanks, StyleSpot!
